Growing Pains & Moving Forward

Hello ladies and gentlemen,

There will be no contact transcriptions for me to post today because I believe it is necessary to address the community about "growing pains" and the necessary work for a good thing to both be built and last. Let's get this straight out of the way: a perfect, happy-go-lucky life where there are no challenges is equally as misleading as saying there are no seasons. We have winter, we have spring, summer, autumn, and fall as much as we have rain and shine. When dealing with people, the expectancy that everything can go 100% all of the time is simply untrue.

The reality is that people can have bad days.

They can be restless from a lack of sleep, triggered by past traumas, genuinely misunderstand or take another's words out of context, or overreact. Recently, we've cleared out most bad actors, yet the problems we faced the past few days weren't with bad actors. They were with folks who have been traumatized, abused, neglected, and hurt, badly in the past. While the idea is to encourage compassion and sympathy, we can only go so far before it becomes enablement.

One's past hurts do not justify the pain you may bring on others in the here and now. Yes, sometimes we have gone through the proverbial ringer and encountered the absolute worst. I have not shared my full life story because I've had terrible losses to say at the least. I have encountered the gutters and the worst of mankind. And yes, I really did lose everything and everyone at a point in my life that nearly made me give up.

But I didn't.

I knew deep down that good had to exist. I knew deep down that even if my actions were misunderstood, the "universe" (call it whatever you wish) would hear me and echo back to me. Slowly but surely, it did. What was set to be the worst year of my life ended up being the greatest. The love of my life came into the picture, and we empowered each other to rise above our scars. Long story short, it can be easy to be spiraled and consumed by our personal wars and past.

It can be easy to see someone wearing a (figurative) same shirt as the ones who hurt us in the past, but it doesn't mean they are the ones in the past. We must be willing to look beyond the damage that has happened to us. And, as hard as it is, we must also be willing to let go of those who have hurt us - lest they keep a power over you even if you wish otherwise. All this is part of healing. The anger can only sustain us for so long before it begins to poison you.

Such is life.

Life is not always Sunshines and rainbows. It can have its challenging days. Days that can remind us of what we've lost and how broken things became. Similarly to those who may be struck with poverty, we can revert to a survivalism mechanic and rationalize our behaviors as the ends justify the means. While it's alright to express some degree of anger, frustration, sadness, and discomfort, it's not alright to spread abuse because we were abused.

You didn't like being ostracized because of your past?

Then why do that to others in the here and now?

Like a virus, that is how pain spreads and the cycle continues. Look at many of the people who abused you. I know, it's tough, but please - try. Do you really believe they weren't abused themselves? The cult leaders who were so angry at the church priest pedophiles who raped them and instead ended up creating an even worse force when their intentions are seemingly good. The victim who was abused by their father or mother when young and grows up to end up doing the same thing to their children. The politician who was ousted and comes back with revenge, creating a whole era of fascism and Nazism.

A cycle of violence, hatred, and an eye for an eye. When does it end? When do we rise above?

I leave you all with this very personal video:

As someone else pointed out in the comment section:

Naturally, when we're hurt and we come to realize and psychoanalyze how it happened, anger seeps in. It's a response to let us know we were wronged. We react with attacks to defend ourselves. While there is a degree of righteousness in these pursuits, it can quickly degenerate if we do not control ourselves and return to some semblance of normality. Anger from hurt and pain can become all-consuming to the point that we have gone so far in our hurt masking behind idealism, that we become the very thing we hated.

As Nietzsche said:

While the idea isn't pure pacifism in the sense that we are so docile that never stand up for the right thing, the goal is balance. Spiraling out of control isn't going to help. It's not going to win you any favors, even if you are completely right. If you really are true and genuine, then stand in your truth, even if nobody else believes you. The truth stands the test of time. I alone stood against an entire Nazi cult and WON, even though they piled everything on me and tried to take my life away. Yet, they failed. In the end, I rose stronger than ever and came away with much needed wisdom to not only improve myself, but be a friend and ally to those on similar paths.

We have created something here very beautiful.

I am very proud of this platform and community. That is why I am addressing you all today and putting aside the "regular duties." I have no desire to be so detached and turn a blind eye that I care not what happens here. As it should be known by now, it's impossible for me to manage the community alone. It's growing. More members are joining. That means there's more people of various interests, backgrounds, levels of healing and their own evolution to deal with. While the moderators have their shoulders heavy with duties, it's not up to them alone.

ALL of us play a role.

Everyone here is a part of this platform and community. Similar to a garden, sometimes, you must clean the weeds. You must tend to your plants, lest as beautiful as they are to look at, they wither away from neglect. Likewise, I am depending on EVERYONE here to do the right thing. I am not your father. I'm not your guru or teacher, nor do I wish to be anything else other than a friend and equal. I am depending on all of you to be wise and mature enough to act accordingly.

I never force anyone to think in any way or another, and I never will. I do sometimes try too much to get people to come to rationality and reason, something my wife told me more or less I am too giving about. That's because I can sense the similar paths many of us have walked. Like you, I was there. I get it. I know how much it hurts. Yet, I can tell you, LOVE IS MORE POWERFUL THAN PAIN. As it was said in the Crabwood crop circle:

Please, my friends. We have a truly amazing and wonderful platform here. Let us work together to keep it so. Be compassionate, tolerant, and patient with each other as we all go through our own healing processes. If someone really gets out of hand and is abusing you or saying truly strange things that make you feel uncomfortable, then report it. Let us work together to keep this space clean and healthy.

Be well all and have a great day ahead.