Hello all, I hope you are doing well. I will be responding to the comments on the Awakening questions thread today, but I was given a different, more urgent message as it is something I have only just gone through myself. I have been telepathically told to relate this to you, by 'Damien', who thinks I may be able to convey things from a feminine perspective.
In the blog post today, he and Prudence spoke about how ignorance, drugs and sexual, uh, I'll call them deviations, extreme perversions, etc, can break your ability to contact them. Obviously, not everyone is ready for this, but let me get to translating the message in the way he wants me to, which is by expanding it and softening it.
Fear influences sexual deviation and stops contact because it directly inhibits your survival-based energy center (my words, not his. Remember, I'm not as good as Prudence at the timey wimey shenanigans or terms yet, but I hope it can be a help in any case).
Because the energy centers for survival and the cosmic womb (what is called the sacral chakra elsewhere) are so closely linked, fear can take on an image thanks to the extreme power of sexual imagination. When we get aroused, our brain and body get creative. The best visualization you will ever do is while horny, just saying.
Yet, if you have a lot of fear-based trauma, you're going to have a bad time trying to go into the 'Astral', which is why on other blog posts, E and others have suggested that it's not something you have to do. And no, it's not, but everyone wants to explore, and the 'astral', gives us good experience to sharpen our psionic abilities, but people CAN NOT hope to go there without being heavily influenced or even having their energies contaminated if they go in with fear.
This is why when people try OBE aka Out of Body Experiences, there is a Guardian of the Threshold. They will not let you out if you fear them. Some people, however, are excellent at projecting right past these guardians and getting into all sorts of trouble. I am one of these people, and they (friends from above) put an 'anchor' on me to stop doing this because I was, well, getting into trouble and giving myself nightmares, panic attacks, and insomnia due to it. (Thank you to Tempest2000, who helped with giving me that information.)
All my life, I've had visitations, and ALL of them were terrifying, not because of the visitor, aka my Gray friends, but because my mind was clouded from the accumulation of trauma from other lives on Earth (and abroad, but this one pertains to here). I could not remember them exactly, but I remember the terror. That exists beyond memory erasure.
The past three days, I've struggled to figure out what was going on. I was completely out of it for that time. I knew something was tearing at my seams and bringing my 'demons' up, and at the same time was stirring intensely sexual energy. I know this is TMI, but you have to understand how this information may align with your own nightmares, fears, kinks, and your repressed, unconscious fears.
I was in a whirlwind of fighting with my shadow, unsure how to understand what exactly it was trying to guide me to. Then, I was fortunate that our friends from above helped me, but yet again, it triggered my trauma.
I was quite lucid when I felt the energy become apparent. It took me from the back of my neck and I immediately began fighting and requested it to "Please stop" and it immediately did, but I think I held onto a bit of his energy and came right out of my body. There, my FEAR created a form for my visitor. The visitor, a tall Gray, instead of being in his beautiful body of rainbow light, was instead a monster with the head of a doll and six spider-like limbs made out of swords and daggers, with a swirling mist of black around it.
I knew I was in the 'astral realm' as I used to call it. I was scared at first, but immediately recognized the energy as kind and familiar. I jumped out of my bed and realized I had no legs, so fell right on the floor with a mostly painless thump, but I did thump. I shot myself off the floor and tried to follow him, but he immediately put me right back into my body.
I woke up and went to the area where he had been and still felt his energy, but he left soon after and I felt quite stupid being scared when I had hoped so fervently for face-to-face contact. I tried to understand what it was that was causing him to appear that way, as I knew this energy and have known it my entire life. It was only the erroneous gaze of these mortal eyes that confused the truth for a lie due to pain and fear, fear that is implanted in us by others. "Forgive them, they know not what they do". Ignorance is the root of all evil and it is used to control and divide. It is not our fault that it is our fault. We are born wide-eyed and loving and filled with joy and we look to those older than us to guide us, but we see the devastation of generational trauma now on our modern day as we try and purge it out of our systems.
The sexual abuse of women passes down to each generation. The stifling of emotions in men passes down to each generation and taints them more and more. The repression of sexual energy in both sexes will eventually cause an anomaly if it isn't fixed. This isn't discluding transgender people, as I know you exist here and I love you very dearly, but you know if you feel either of these ways or not and how you identify.
Humans are meant to be one. Not divided by any means or reason. Just like our emotions are meant to be felt and not shoved away. Yet, in the case of witnessing something so traumatic that it sticks with you even beyond lives, how do you deal with that?
Separating the monstrous form I saw, said my contact, would give me answers. I'm lucky enough that I'm aware of some of my past lives and this one in particular was about my mother being beheaded by my father. How does this affect sexual energy, though?
Well, this is embarrassing, but things can turn a bit strange. When I say kinks are a way to look at your shadow and pain body, I'm not lying. Your shadow is hiding behind those curtains because it doesn't know where else to hide nor why it hides. Yet, it could also hide in other places, but sex is a huge one. Becoming conscious of these links to trauma in this life or others is highly important. You don't need to know the full details, but let's say, for instance, with mine:
Kink: Choking = being beheaded or drowning, Knife play = being stabbed or beheaded or otherwise.
Now, you imagine with whatever kinks you may have, those that seem a little off the deep end, and no I'm not shaming. Kinks have their place for imagination fulfillment and I highly recommend drawing or writing sex scenes with these images in order to express them and let them out, otherwise they will bubble up like a volcano until something happens and you have a Bacchus-type frenzy, whether in emotional eating, sleeping with a lot of people in one week, or even snapping and deciding to quit your job and leave your family with no saved money or way to live, or many other ways.
Express these things in yourself on paper or in another way. You don't have to be ashamed of them. Express them from your pain body and allow them to go. This is why it doesn't matter if you know your past lives or not, just that you express the feeling and recognize it is something you feel and you have no reason to be ashamed of it. Obviously, there are certain kinks I don't consider kinks but full-blown sexual perversion-borderline-abuse and you know what I mean so I won't mention those (don't think I'm judging you, if you're unfortunate enough that your shadow includes something like this, you are not beyond help. Believe me.)
Yet, the point is to feel the emotion and release it. But you should do so creatively and in private if you feel that is the best case. Also, masturbation is not bad, nor is sex. Be balanced in all things. Be happy and balanced. Do you think our friends above aren't doing it? No, some of them are doing it way more than us because it doesn't carry the weird connotations there like it does on Earth. It's beautiful and light and a way to share memories and experiences and reunion. Some of them don't do it at all and are happy that way, and that's awesome too!
Just remember, that you may be painting your contact experiences with your own cloak of darkness, and you should be careful trying to force OBEs when your repressed self is still healing, otherwise you can attract like with like and experience an energy drain from an entity who just likes your pain-filled memories and will leave you feeling empty when you wake up in the morning, having feasted off of you and left you none of its own energy in exchange.
If you have questions, I am always open, and please, I know this thread is a hot mess express just by mentioning kinks, but don't be bashful. Sex is natural, and it's because it has been made to seem unnatural and dirty by controlling factions that we are so bashful. The human body is beautiful, no matter how scarred, pocked, or fat it is. You are a shining gem of beauty, crafted from the very hands of source, and our friends from above. How can you not be beautiful? How can you not want to explore yourself when you know you were created from supernovas and the love of all experience?
Just remember that you must work through the emotion and not continually give it room to grow in your mind. in some cases, the emotion will leave after writing or imagining or drawing it once. Other times, it may need a few goes. A few re-readings of your literature. A few more looks at what you've drawn, but you'll come to your conclusion and drain the reserve of trauma straight from the source. Then, in its place, light can enter.