This morning I had a dream.
This dream, though not anymore VIVID than on ordinary dream did feel DIRECTED, TARGETED and PURPOSEFUL in ways that ordinary dreams absolutely are not.
Which is why I'm writing this post today. To see what you think.
Here's the dream (what I wrote at the time quickly to make sure I didn't forget, plus some editing after the fact to expand upon what I remembered):
Had a dream where I was in a car with my freinds from work. We were dropping off people from some presumably work related event.
We found Rich (an old colleague that also was recently made redundant), he was working in a new place in a new town/city. I think we all were? It didn't look like Malvern (okay, surely ONE data-point couldn't hurt).
The day was at the switchover point between civil and nautical twilight. The world was drenched in this wonderful blue, yet the sun still managed to paint the clouds hanging in the sky this vibrant golden/orange. It was beautiful.
Eventually it was my turn to get out, and let me out did, said their farewells, then I was walking
down the street.
Now I was in a different place. This place feels much more familiar...
(name redacted). Where Mum lives. Though it's not quite the same...
There's more space between the houses for a start, the building all appear to be smaller, too. White sidings. Are they abandoned?
I don't see anyone else.
it was daytime, the sky was a clear white/light grey.
I met someone, another friend. Someone I didn't recognise. We were walking down the street, somewhere on the road that Mum and (name redacted) live on, only there
was wheat in the fields behind the houses. I felt so calm walking with this person.
As we slipped between the houses to get closer to the field (were we passing though an abandoned/ruined house?) I find an old grenade. I feel like I've found a relic of a past world/life, like the grenade had some significant symbolic meaning. I feel the weight of the grenade in my hand, the grenade is muddy, damaged in such a way that the pin could not be pulled, even if it were still active.
Eventually I decide that I no longer want/need it. I throw it over the neighbours wall, without even attempting to pull the pin.
(note: I want to say that it hit the ground with a dull thud, but I don't remember clearly. It's obvious that I WAS hearing things in the dream thought)
(other note: This is why I'm glad I wrote this down as soon as possible. I didn't remember anything about the grenade, not until reading this back)
(Let that be a lesson for all of you.)
Now we're standing in the back yard. My freind(guide?) turn around and faces me.
He said "what do you want?"
I reply "To go home."
He asks "What's your favorite kind of music?"
I reply "Country.", and feel like some important piece of my life's puzzle just fell into place.
(note: ???? I don't like country music/I don't have a favourite genre ????)
He smiles and says something to the effect of "It's time to come home/then go."
I felt the world around me begin to fall away. The field in front of me and the trees behind them began to melt into some
kind of oil painting. Their defenition is being lost. They are becoming "blurry".
It felt wonderful. Truly in ways that I don't have the language to find. But in that moment, a pang of self doubt sat in the back of my mind.
I felt worried about losing the things I have in this world. I worried about the future of this world, and my place in it.
My subconscious told it to stop, and the feeling immediately vanished, so did the visions.
I woke up.
(note: On careful reflection I now know what the feeling was like. It was the feeling of belonging, of coming home after a very long trip, that kind of relief, only way stronger than I've ever felt it before)